Probably the two most controversial teachings of the Catholic Church have to do with the purposes of marriage and family: that marriage is for the union of the spouses (till death do them part, that is, no divorce) and that marriage is for the procreation of children (to be open to life in the marital act, that is, no contraception).  In the readings of the Mass today, Christ gives us clear teaching on divorce and the avoidance of children.  For us priests, these are not topics we like to talk about because they make people feel uncomfortable, or worse, people feel judged and get defensive.  Truth must always be accompanied by charity, that is compassionate love.

     Firstly, let us look at the first reading from Genesis 2.  God has created man and woman in His own image and likeness.  Woman is the suitable partner for man, and That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body (Gn 2:24).  Because the Trinity is relationship in se, the union of husband and wife resembles the unity in the Trinity.  And remember, the love between Father and Son is so great that it produces a Person, the Holy Spirit.  Similarly, the love between husband and wife (that is, their union) is ordered to producing offspring.  Therefore, God’s original purpose is a permanent union between husband and wife.  So, we hear this reading in preparation for the gospel today from Mark 10.  The Pharisees are asking Jesus a difficult moral question: Can a man divorce his wife?  We think divorce is something new, but this was already a part of Jewish culture during the time of Jesus.  He responds that Moses only permitted divorce Because of the hardness of your hearts (Mk 10:5).  Our Lord goes on to say, “Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate” (Mk 10:7).  Today, divorce is just part of society.  Virtually all churches tolerate some form of divorce.  The Catholic Church is the only Church that has not dared to change Christ’s teaching.  Of course, there is annulment (not “Catholic divorce”) which only declares that a marriage never existed in the first place.  Some people complain that Jesus was not aware of spousal abuse, addiction, or infidelity, but these all existed in some form in First Century Palestine.  Simply put, Jesus’ teaching is shocking because it is a hard teaching.

     So why do we see so much divorce today, even among Catholic Christians?  I think the main reason is lack of marriage preparation.  One of the top priorities of the Church is to prepare couples well for the sacrament of matrimony.  I am also sensitive to those of you who (for whatever reason) have been civilly divorced and/or are remarried civilly and hoping to be in full communion with the Church in the future.

     I think a contributing factor to divorce in our country is the acceptance of artificial birth control in most marriages.  If you examine the parallel of the so-called sexual revolution of the 1960s to the present, we see increased divorce rate and increased use of contraception.  Unfortunately, many Christians (including some Catholics) see birth control as a way to prevent abortion.  But the reality is that abortion is simply back-up contraception.  When contraception fails, “Plan B” is to "terminate the pregnancy" which means to abort the child.

     Our Lord in the gospel says, “Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these” (Mk 10:14).  Our Lord rebukes the disciples for trying to impede the little children from coming to Him, but I believe this immediately comes after Jesus’ teaching on marriage and divorce because children naturally come from marriage.  That’s the way God set it up.  We have a lot of work to do on the Pro-Life front, but the first step is making sure that every child that is conceived is given a chance.  We can’t even talk about marriage and family if little boys and little girls are not guaranteed an opportunity.  In Mass this Sunday, we pray for an end to abortion in our nation, we pray for our marriages and families, especially for those in unhappy marriages, and we pray that we will be given a childlike entrance into the Kingdom of God.

 The Very Rev. Nolan T. Lowry